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As university students, I am sure that the majority of you are avid Facebook users. Undeniably, it’s an unbeatable procrastination tool, and stalking your mates’ pictures wastes a chronic amount of time. It’s a good way of keeping in touch and can be nice to see what everyone is up to now you’ve all flown the nest. However, I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook (although when I say love-hate, I really mean hate). Facebook is the worst thing in the world, and I am here to tell you why.
Slushy Facebook Status’
I am immeasurably happy you have found someone to tolerate you and you are now officially ‘in a relationship’. However, if you post ONE MORE THING about your “gawjus bby boy” or “ma bbe” I think I will need counselling. Whatever happened to first names and keeping things private? I do not need to know that he gave you a foot rub after work; nor do I need to know that your ‘snugglemuffin’ made you a packed lunch for work, and my life is no better now you have shared that information. Besides, it only makes the whole thing more tragic when you break up. For single individuals, it is not only a kick in the teeth that you cannot find a boyfriend/girlfriend while someone who addresses theirs as “ma bbe” can; but it is extremely unfair to watch everyone so in love while you eat supernoodles on your own in bed.
Attention Seekers
Every Facebook user has their fair share of attention seekers in their friends list. A conversation via status update will typically go like this:
Attention Seeker: Never felt so down in my whole life Cuddles plz?
Facebook User: Oh no, what’s up babe?
Attention Seeker: Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.
IF YOU WILL BE FINE WHY ARE YOU POSTING A STATUS FOR ALL 600 OF YOUR FRIENDS TO SEE PUBLICISING YOUR APPARENT DEVASTATION?
Grammar and Spelling
I am not one to discriminate and I appreciate that not everyone is on the same intellectual wavelength. However, I firmly believe that there is a line where you question whether or not someone actually ever attended school, and Facebook is the playground for those who live their life below this line. It is so frustrating to be faced with utterly disgraceful spelling every few status’. You know you need help when even spellcheck or iPhone Autocorrect can’t decipher what you’re attempting to say.
Pictures of Ugly Children
Pictures of unfortunate looking children were put up on walls and kept in treasured family photo albums before Facebook was invented. Now, they are put online for everyone to see, by the truckload. There are only so many sympathy likes you can give for those kids who couldn’t quite sell Pampers…
Bitchiness
As amusing as it is to laugh at others’ Facebook arguments, it proves the world really is in a sorry state. I particularly despise the Facebook status’ clearly aimed at someone : “so and so is SO done with you. I know now who my real friends are.” SHUT UP. If you’ve learned a valuable lesson in life then go forth and keep it to yourself, or at least tell us who it’s aimed at!
Sympathy Friends
I have over 600 friends on Facebook, and I am positive I have no intention of ever seeing over half of them ever again. This is a huge reason why Facebook is the worst thing in the world - I sympathy accept friend requests from people I never want to see again, don’t like or never really spoke to in school. The guilt consumes me and then I am faced with my own shame day after day watching their status’ load on my news feed.
Being ‘Poked’
First of all, what an awful term. Why anyone would want to be ‘poked’ is beyond me, but the reality of what it actually means is far worse. It is the single worst attempt of flirting ever invented, particularly when the only people who attempt to poke me are from faraway lands or are significantly older. It is awkward. Do you poke them back? Do you ignore the poke, consequently facing the poke every time you log on? Do you message them saying you’re not interested allowing room for more conversation? What is the correct poke etiquette? It is too much for me.
And last, but not at all least:
Game Requests
CSI Investigators, Farmville and Bejewelled blummin’ Blitz. I hate game requests more than I hate anything else, potentially on the entire face of the earth. If it is not enough to be constantly inundated with irrelevant Facebook notifications, it is enough to make me want to pack in my account all together when someone sends me a notification asking me to ‘share my treasure’ or ‘give spare energy’ to help their horrific little computer person solve a fake crime by clicking a square. If you are an individual who sends game requests to their friends on Facebook, know that you are the worst sort of person out there and you upset me and many others on a day to day basis. Not cool guys.
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By Jordan Darlington
Is staying on trend more important than standing against morally corrupt branding?
Our recent survey found that despite more people valuing ‘design and popularity’ over ‘brand morals’, 75% of the respondents stated that they would |
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By Elizabeth Whittingham
‘we must find the means to recruit the talent that exists within the breadth of the student body’
According to a study by the Independent, state school students, women, first generation graduat |
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